At a Standstill

So I know that it's been several weeks since my last post, and apologize for that dear reader. Not to make excuses, but I did use our time apart constructively (sort of). This is what I've been up to:

1. Actually trying to play the game, which can be time consuming between actually going on the dates and figuring out my next move


2. Improving my dating karma through the practice of feng shui. And by practicing feng shui, I mean putting an empty Victoria's Secret bag in the southwest corner of my bedroom (apparently the "love" corner according to feng shui principals) and then upping the anty by buying lingerie and putting it in the bag. Clearly, I've paid my respects to the feng shui gods in a big way, so something good should happen any day now, right?

So I bet you think that between the time of my last post, and now, I've gained all sorts of amazing and witty insights on dating and love. But here's the thing: I've got nothing. I mean I'm not saying that I haven't thought about this at all. On the contrary, I've spent hours overthinking (shocking, I know) this, wondering whether the problem is me, or that it really is just I haven't met the "right" guy. I've also thought about whether if the "right" guy really exists, or if he's this mirage that I keep chasing, and wondering if by chasing this mirage, that I've sabotaged any chance of ever making it that ever elusive date #4.*

*As many of you already know, I try to follow the three-date rule as mandated by "The book in the bathroom" before deciding whether or not a guy is for me. To date, I've never made it to Date #4, and plan to have a party to celebrate making it to Date #4 if I ever get there. Obviously, I don't plan on inviting the guy that I would be going on Date #4 with because it might cause him to cancel Date #4, which would then require the cancellation of said party.

And after all of that, the only conclusion that I've come up with is that I need to just stop overthinking and just let things happen. While I know that this is the only solution for now, I'm not sure how well I will be able to execute. Still trying to figure that one out.

That's all I have for now. I will have more for you in the next post. I promise. I just need to spend a little more time untangling the webs that I've built in my head so that I can figure out my strategy for winning the game (i.e. either getting to second base, or date #4, whichever comes first).

New Year, New Beginnings?

Last night, I rang in the New Year in the company of some fabulous people. It was a night of good food, good music, and of course good friends. I may not have had a man to kiss at midnight, however, I did have two hot ladies that helped ring in 2010 with me.

I should have been thrilled to welcome the new year with many of my close friends by my side. Actually, I was thrilled. But while ringing in the new year, I had one of those slow motion, deja vu moments in which I realized that the status of my personal life had been significantly the same over the last five years. I had flashbacks to the many bad dates that I've gone on over the last couple of years. And honestly, I couldn't help but feel completely and totally frusterated.

The next morning, I called my mom to wish her a happy new year, and she made a comment that furthered this frusteration. "You know, the only reason that you're single is because you want to be". It took all of the self-control that I had not to scream (well, plus, I figured that screaming could only make my hangover worse). I mean, I feel like I really have been trying. I could perhaps try harder, but it didn't seem fair that she put 100% of the blame on me - I mean the universe could lend a bit of a helping hand, don't you think?

However, I've since sobered up (and successfully recovered from my hangover), and realized another thing - 2010 really could have the potential for some new beginnings. Certain things really have changed over the last few years. For the first time in a decade, I don't feel like the fate of the rest of my life lies in the hands of one certain person. There are endless possibilities out there. I would be lying if I said that all my bitterness and frusteration has faded away. But I am hoping that the new decade will bring new possibilities and that I will allow myself to embrace them.